Beau Rivage Beach…
I’m a lucky woman – I am married to a really optimistic man and he’s changed the way I think.
His logic, when faced with some of life’s crappy episodes (sometimes that’s the only way to describe them!) is to remedy the situation as best possible, learn what you can from it, and move on. He actively avoids talking and even thinking about negative episodes from the past when you can do nothing further about it, and will abruptly change the subject if it comes up!
My nature, on the other hand, has been to dwell on these situations, replaying them over in my mind – what could I have done differently? Why did that happen? … a totally useless activity and a recipe for depression or at least a bad mood!
Psychologists will tell you that the more you use a neural pathway, the stronger it becomes and the more likely these thought pathways will be activated again in the future. In other words, the more you think about something, the more likely you are to remember it and the more often it will pop into your mind. Nerve pathways that are used more often become stronger, and those that are neglected will wither.
So dwelling on the positive and setting the negative aside is great for your mental health. This is the idea behind keeping a positivity or gratitude journal, but just making a point of “changing your mind” when you realize useless negative thoughts are creeping in can make a huge difference in your mood. I’ve learned to do this with lots of encouragement from my hubby… my “go to” positive thoughts are all about art – my “happy place”! And if that isn’t enough, I head for the beach for a walk. I’m sure it helps to have a default thought or place to go to when you need to change your thinking.
Optimists live longer…
So, this week, I read that multiple studies have found optimists, on average, live 15% longer, and that optimistic men are 70% more likely to reach age 85, while optimistic women are 50% more likely to see their 85th birthday (They didn’t suggest any reason for the difference, but maybe we women just worry more?? or perhaps our worries affect our health less?? Just a guess…). This held even when various risk factors were taken into account.
Those whose negative moods and thoughts hung on for several days, compared to those who had a rough day but moved on quickly from their stresses, had fewer chronic diseases 10 years later. Long term stress is known to raise cortisol levels, contributing to increased inflammation and insulin resistance over the long term,and this could explain the difference.
So, find yourself a default happy place to go whenever one of those nagging negative scenes creeps into your consciousness, and have a happier more positive life!!
Jeannie Beaudin, Artist and Author 